Not Enough

 Not Enough

Oh, what a joy to never be enough!
Not Indigenous enough, not First Nations tough.
Métis? No, sorry, not quite right—
Too white for that, but not white white.

Not Mexican, not European flair,
Too much of something, too little to spare.
Not young enough, not old with grace,
Not enough lines carved into my face.

Not man enough, what a shame!
But too much woman to play the game.
Too much experience? Oh, how grand!
Yet somehow, still, not what they demand.

BC Housing builds, so they say,
But only if you navigate the maze their way.
Apply here, apply there, a hundred forms to sign,
Yet somehow, still, not the right kind.

No income? Oh dear, well, that’s too bad!
Go get assistance, but don’t be sad.
It won’t be enough to rent, oh no,
But they’ll pat themselves on the back for the show.

So here I stand, too much, too small,
Not enough for anything at all.
But I’ll laugh, I’ll rage, I’ll scream, I’ll fight—
Because I decide if I’m enough tonight.

Oh, and let's not forget that Craigslist ad,

Looking for a Phone Girl, it's not so bad—

Must speak Punjabi or Hindi with grace,

But don’t worry, no room for my face.

Not enough skills, too much of me,

Not the right language, not the right plea.

Guess I’m too much for this world, you see—

But never enough for them, or for me.